Why did the diabetic rogue fail his reflex saving throw?
Because he wasn’t very dextrose.
From my very first Pathfinder Campaign as a DM …
Vistaltd, lawful evil human cleric of Manus (yes, the guy from Dark Souls), who weilds a massive earthbreaker shaped like a bell (yes, it’s the Chime Hammer from Dark Souls 2). He came from a wealthy noble family of Brevoy, though he wasn’t particuarly loved. When his family was executed during a peasant uprising, Vistaltd was burned alive - which landed him in the Void, with Manus himself. In return for sending him more souls (by burning the recently dead), Manus granted Vistaltd a second life and sent him to the realm of Hadralun. Vistaltd’s appearance retains the gruesome burns inflicted at his death, so he hides behind a suit of red armor. He has joined the quest to recover the Heart of Kasei, intending to reap as many souls as possible along the way. To keep an eye on his investment, Manus sent an imp named Pate the Mild-mannered (basically a demonic penci-pusher) to observe Vistaltd and keep him focused on the task.
Normally, I wouldn’t allow an evil player in a campaign of mostly good characters, but this guy’s player knows what he’s doing. He’s also Lawful Evil, which should keep him from being too horrible. So far, in two sessions, he’s been knocked unconscious twice. He has a tendancy to charge into melee combat without regard for the rest of the party, and uses his Channel Negative Energy to wipe out large groups of enemies at once (something the party’s Dhampir takes advantage of, seeing as he’s healed by negative energy). Plus, his imp gives me a way to jump into the party and prod them in the right direction if they get stuck along the way.
THE GREATEST VERSION OF GERUDO VALLEY
ONLY IN SMASH 3DS
I was once playing in a campaign where we were staying in a town where my character, a human warlock, had become a town hero after the party slayed a rampaging rhino that another player released because his last player had paid for and ordered it and he wanted his current player to have it. We…
I love the beginning of the introduction of countries at the olympics because it starts off with the smaller countries
you know just little groups
out of nowhere
DM (me): Okay, three of the thugs are now unconscious, one is dead and one has fled. What do you do?
Investigator: We should tie them up so we can interrogate them about why they were after us.
DM: Okay. One of them looks like he’s coming around.
LE Cleric: I break their legs.
DM: *rolls damage*
DM: Another thug has died. Good job.
Tonight, The Doctor and his companion are miniaturised…
when life gives you lemons what do you do
DONT MAKE LEMONADE
MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK!
I DONT WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS WHAT IM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?
DEMAND TO SEE LIFES MANAGER. MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE, *CAVE JOHNSON* LEMONS.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
IM THE MAN WHOS GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN, WITH THE LEMONS!
IM GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT’LL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN.